1. Rosie

She was running away from a memory that always comes back to chase her and hunt her. It is a memory of darkness and still dank air.

She remembered the smell of the other horses mixed in with their stale bedding. Scooter, her favourite, was beside her in his stable; she could see him through the bars separating them. Even though she couldn’t see the others clearly, she knew they were there. She could hear their restlessness.

Then he entered the darkness. She could only just make out a shadow, but she knew it was him; she remembered him from the round yard. She smelt him as he moved towards her. She backed up as far as she could until she was hard up against a wall. As he passed he turned towards her. She could smell his breath and his sweat.

She started pacing in the small space around her, looking for light. She tried to push out through the walls, but they wouldn’t move for her. His smell was suffocating her.

Then she heard a smashing sound. She looked towards Scooter, saw the whites of his eyes and heard him screaming. She tried to run away but she couldn’t. The walls kept herding her back towards his screaming. The terrifying sight of Scooter being attacked by this man wielding a hammer, launched at her every time she turned a corner.

Rosie’s greatest fear, of there being no way out through her terror, had come true. She heard Scooter’s blinding scream again and she kicked out at it, trying to stamp it out.

Rosie knew that with every strike from the hammer wielding man Scooter was disappearing from her world. She feared if she didn’t get out, she too would disappear. As suddenly as his screaming started it stopped. She heard Scooter’s breathing slow.

She kicked again, even more furiously than before. She had to get out; she couldn’t be in there for a second longer; she needed to escape immediately.

He turned and yelled at her. She slowly moved back again, charged and struck out with her front legs. As she did, a tiny gap of light opened up in front of her. She ran at it as fast as she could without stopping.

This is the memory that comes to her; the overwhelming need to escape whenever she feels the walls closing in; the stillness of the air; the smells and sounds of the horses; the smashing; Scooter’s screaming and him yelling at her. When the light and air disappears, she must escape before the darkness comes back to hunt her. And so she runs.

She could see them on the hill. She stopped some distance from them and spun around to see if the darkness was there. When she saw that it wasn’t, she turned back to them. She saw one had broken away and was coming toward her. She waited. For a second she didn’t recognise him. Then she smelled his warm nutty breath. She stood there and with every twitch down her back and her shoulders, she could feel the fear falling away from her. She shook herself, getting rid of the last of it and walked up to meet him. She could see the rest of the horses behind him as they moved towards her. Their heads and tails down low and swinging in tempo with their steps, their ears looking at her. She allowed her head and tail to swing in unison with theirs as she slowly walked to meet them.

She nickered to them and they replied. She knew their smells and their sounds. She felt them bumping up against her. The mingling of their smells and their flicking tails comforted her. She leaned over and nibbled one of them on their neck. He turned his ears towards her and then his head, ever so slightly, so that he was looking at her over his shoulder from the corner of his eye. It was an invitation. The two of them broke away, running up the hill and taking it in turns to chase each other. When she is with them like this, the darkness is gone and she can just be, safe.

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(Above image courtesy of shutterstock.com)